We've all said it: "Get some rest this weekend." Or, "Hope the holiday gives you a break."
But lately, I've stopped saying those things. Because the truth is—rest doesn't always restore us. And simply having time off doesn't guarantee we return on Monday ready to lead, respond, or support the people who depend on us.
Weekends can be full of errands. "Breaks" can feel like pressure. Holidays can be emotionally heavy.
In a world that feels increasingly noisy, demanding, and dysregulated, we don't just need rest. We need restorative time—time that returns us to ourselves.
Rest vs. Restoration
Rest can be passive. Restorative time is intentional.
Rest is sleep, downtime, or stepping away. Restoration is about replenishing your core capacities: clarity, compassion, patience, creativity, and the ability to think strategically instead of reactively.
As leaders, those capacities are the job.
Why Leaders Need Restoration More Than "Time Off"
Leadership rarely shuts off. Even when we're technically "off," our minds are churning: Did I support that employee well enough? Are we on track? How will I navigate that stakeholder conversation?
So if we don't intentionally downshift from that mode, we carry the strain into the next week—and everyone around us feels it.
Restoration isn't indulgent. It's protective. It's the quiet infrastructure that keeps leaders thinking clearly, responding thoughtfully, and showing up with compassion instead of reactivity.
A Personal Note: I'm Still Learning This Too
I'll be honest in a way leaders don't often admit: I've been exhausted—not just tired. The kind of exhaustion that sleep doesn't fix.
And part of why I've been quieter lately is because I've been busy trying to figure out what actually restores me. Not the thing that looks good from the outside. Not what I "should" do. The things that genuinely help me come back with a clear mind and a full heart.
It's embarrassingly easy to tell other people to take care of themselves… and then completely ignore my own advice.
I know how to power through. I know how to be reliable. I know how to keep moving even when I'm running on fumes. Most leaders do.
But that's the trap: being good at pushing through makes it incredibly hard to slow down.
What Actually Restores Us?
Restoration is deeply personal—blanket advice like "have a nice weekend" often misses the point. Here are some common forms of restorative time:
1. **Quiet Time to Think** - Not strategizing. Not planning. Just mental spaciousness. 2. **Genuine Connection** - People who refill you rather than drain you. 3. **Deep Unplugging** - A few hours without decision-making, inboxes, or emotional labor. 4. **Movement That Feels Good** - Not performance. Not obligation. Just movement. 5. **Something That Reminds You Who You Are** - Reading, creating, nature, music—anything that reconnects you to yourself.
Why Leaders Resist Restoration
Because restorative time asks for what leadership cultures tend to discourage: Permission to not be productive, Boundaries to protect our energy, Presence to feel instead of suppress.
Restoration often looks unproductive from the outside. But it's the most productive thing you do for the people who depend on you.
When Leaders Show Up Restored, Everything Changes
Meetings get calmer. Decisions get clearer. Teams feel safer. Creativity returns. The whole organization breathes easier.
People can tell the difference between a leader who got a weekend… and a leader who got restored.
Maybe We Need New Language
Instead of "Have a nice weekend," I've started saying: "I hope you get the kind of time that restores you."
It acknowledges our humanity. It recognizes the world's weight. And it invites real rest—not just the appearance of it.
Because in this stressful, beautiful, demanding world, restorative time isn't a luxury. It's leadership maintenance. It's how we show up ready to do the work that matters.